Book Review: Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction by David Sheff

posted by Curt, on March 16, 2008 08:23 am

I ordered Beautiful Boy just less than a week ago, got it on Wednesday (I love Amazon Prime!) and finished it the same day. It's fearful and riveting and I couldn't put it down. It's a story of a father, his son, and his son's methamphetamine addiction. I bought it kind of impulsively. Thankfully, I have never been tempted to experiment with drugs . . . I have an irrational fear of them. It's hard to get me even to take a pill to relieve my sinuses. But, I live in fear of the possibility of addiction--especially with regard to my kids. I'm especially afraid of meth, because of the stories I've read about it in the news. When I saw the book getting great reviews, I bought it hoping that it would give me insights into the problem and what I could do to protect my kids.

The book begins with an introduction to the author's son, Nic. According to the book, Nic was a remarkable boy who had everything going for him. It then proceeds to show how his addiction to drugs and alcohol (initally marijuana and liquor, and then later, harder drugs) destroyed his life (and also put serious strain on the lives of his other family members). The book is written from the father's point of view, and you follow the father through his denial, his rationalization, and all of his grief and worry. David realizes, consistently with many other parents whose children are addicted to drugs, that he ultimately cannot protect his child from the consequences of his choices. Nic is in and out of sobriety, rehab, gone for weeks at a time, assumed dead, and did, in fact, almost die. At the book's end, Nic is sober, but the reader is left with the thought that this period of sobriety is as fragile as the ones before it: it could all end in a moment, and, indeed, the probabilities of a relapse are probably greater than not. The story is absolutely heartbreaking. While it may be comforting reading for those who are struggling with a family member's addiction, it is not comforting for all the rest of us, who continue to fear for our children.

That said, I do recommend this book for something beyond the story. It reinforces the fact that drug addiction affects all types of people. By all accounts, Nic was and is highly intelligent, successful, outgoing, conscientious, and loving. His parents (although a little left-leaning for my tastes) were and are devoted, concerned, involved, and tried from the very start to do the right thing. Indeed, their actions are the actions of model parents in many respects. In other words, Beautiful Boy reminds us that simply being a good parent may not be enough to save a child from drug addiction. There are other forces operating on children (just as they do on parents) and a child makes choices about how to deal with those. One thing that comes out of this book (and subsequent things written about it) is that a person (especially a teenager) may appear outwardly to have everything going for them, but may nonetheless be having a hard time coping with things . . . and may turn to drugs in order to cope. What I take away from Beautiful Boy is that parents have to be ever vigilant about their child's life and be ready to intervene at the first sign that things are getting out of control. While even early intervention is no guarantee, it's often the best that can be done.

The other piece of advice in this book is that those who have a family member addicted to drugs must guard against allowing the addiction to consume their life in a way that ruins their other family relationships. David Sheff references becoming addicted to his son's addiction in a way that had the potential to harm his relationships with his wife and other children. It strikes me that this is extremely important and one of the potentially most subtle and dangerous consequences of a drug addiction. It's good advice for people who have an addicted family member as well as something important to think about for those of us who may eventually face that reality.

In any event, I highly recommend this book--even though it scared me to death. It's an intimate and personal chronicle of many parents' worst nightmare. Finally, Nic has written his own story in Tweak: Growing Up on Methamphetamines. I haven't read it yet, but probably will when I get a chance. I've linked to the Amazon pages for both of the books below.

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