Barney Fife - Dogs, Giraffes, and Lightning | curtsnew.com

One of my favorite past times is watching old Andy Griffith Show reruns on KBYU. They come on every night about 11:15 or so. Ros and I end up staying up most nights to watch them. We still haven't seen them all, and it will be a sad day when we do. Anyway, one of my all time favorite Barney clips deals with him explaining his decision to release dogs in the wild to Opie. The YouTube clip is embedded below and the transcript, courtesy of http://home.hiwaay.net/~thefanns/barnisms.htm

And the transcript:

Opie: Pa, them dogs are out there. They are out there in that open field. (Thunder) I'm worried about 'em Pa.

Andy: Well, you needn't be.

Barney: Opie, you don't have to worry about 'em. What could happen?

Opie: Well, that lightning, what about that?

Barney: Oh, a dog can't get struck by lightning. You know why? Because he's too close to the ground. See, lightning strikes tall things. Now if they were giraffes out there, then we'd be in trouble. You sure don't have to worry about dogs. (Thunder)

Opie: I'm worried about 'em, Pa.

Andy: Ah..

Barney: What were dogs a million years ago, wild animals, right? Wolves, coyotes, they know how to hunt and fish and look for shelter. You take them two big Airedales. Why they looked as healthy as horses to me. And the little spotted one, he was in fine shape.

Opie: But the little one I first came in with, he was a trembler, wasn't he?

Barney: Him? why, the big ones will take care of him. The big ones take care of their own. (Thunder) And you know dogs have a way of keepin' dry. Ya know that, They're insulated, you see, they've got this fur...it keeps them cool in the summer and warm and dry in the winter. They're really set up better than human beings as far as that goes. (Thunder and lightning) And as far as the little one goes, why the big ones, they'll take care of him...the little trembly one...(Thunder) and they're short, you see, close to the ground, that way they can't get struck by lightning. Now if they wuz giraffes they'd have been hit by now, uh..., but dogs are short and they take care of their own. Giraffes don't. No, giraffes don't at all. Boy, giraffes are selfish, just run around looking out for number one, getting hit by lightning, but dogs....(Thunder) You just gonna sit there or you coming with me??

Andy: What?

Barney: To get them dogs, are you coming with me?